A great way to spice things up with your partner is to indulge in a little mutual fantasy. Sharing your deepest desires gets you into each other's heads, which is always a plus when it comes to passionate sex. Exploring each other's fantasies can also switch up a stale bedroom repertoire.
Start out by developing your individual fantasies. Each of you may come up with something totally different if left to your own devices! Depending on what you're comfortable with, either discuss them or write them down. Tell him what you've always wanted someone to do to you, or maybe describe a sexual act you've always wanted to try. Indulge him as he admits to a fetish you never suspected or an everyday turn-on that's flown under the radar.
Here are some other ways to spice up your sex life:
Forget traditional date nights. If your date-night routine is boring and predictable (i.e., dinner and a movie), then your date-night sex will likely be boring and predictable as well. Turn your date nights upside down by trying new and even daring activities. When you engage in scary activities with your spouse (such as riding a roller coaster or bungee jumping), your brain releases dopamine and adrenaline that mimics the excitement you felt during your first months of dating. Even if you aren’t the thrill-seeker type, you can still get an adrenaline rush by having a scary-movie night or hitting the slopes together.
Surrender control. Many women have a hard time letting go of control in the bedroom because they are so used to going a million miles an hour. Multitasking makes you a great mother, wife, and corporate maven, but it can also make it hard for you to let go and let loose in the bedroom. Learn how to ease up and enjoy yourself by trying out a surrender date. On a surrender date, your partner is in charge of everything. He picks your outfit, your accessories, the restaurant, the route to the restaurant, and even your lingerie. It might feel a little strange (and even upsetting at first) to let go of the control, but by doing so you might find that it is much easier to simply sit back and enjoy yourself…especially when it comes to enjoying yourself in the bedroom!
Just do it. People often sit around and wait for the mood to strike, especially when they are in a committed, long-term relationship. However, the more you sit around and wait for your libido to suddenly spark on its own, the more it will decrease and dissipate — which is why it’s a good idea to go ahead and just do it sometimes, even if you aren’t in the mood. You will often find that if you stay open-minded and give sex a chance you’ll find yourself in the mood after all. Of course, you shouldn’t have sex if you absolutely don’t want to, but if you’re on the fence, then go for it: Your desires and body will likely follow.