Starting out with a new sexual partner is fabulous, but there are always a few inevitable kinks to work out. What if you find yourself dating a sexual speed demon? After so much anticipation, long dates, and lingering kisses while you wondered how it would be, you finally get into bed and — bam! — he's off to the races. Intercourse is not quite as sensual as you'd hoped, especially if he's at top speed while you're still running to catch up.
While women often have to worry about whether we're responding enough, men are plagued with the opposite problem of sometimes getting a little too excited. The key to turning a hare into a tortoise is to do so from the start. Even if you're feverishly tearing each other clothes off, you have the power to put the brakes on. Be firm — don't let intercourse happen until you're ready to go. If anything, it will increase the excitement if you delay the main event.
If you aren’t sure how to delay intercourse without coming off as awkward, give him a deep kiss and tell him you will be right back. Switch into a naughty piece of lingerie, turn on sexy music, light some candles or pour a glass of wine. Not only will he feel aroused by your seductive powers, but it will help to keep in the mood while still putting the brakes on his sexual release. Give him a little striptease to the music or offer to give him a massage. He will intuitively sense that you want to take things a little slower, and he will respond in turn by putting the kibosh on the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am” routine.
Once you do get into intercourse, guide him into a slower pace. Use your thighs or hands to anchor him, and let him know you'd like to take it slow. If all else fails, take the higher ground. When you're on top, you control the rhythm, speed, and depth of penetration. You can also put the brakes on by telling you want to move the action into the shower…or the living room…or the backyard! By changing scenery, you can keep the sexy mood alive while still slowing things down to a level that works for you.
Tantric sex is also a great option for couples who want to take it slow. As a matter of fact, that’s the whole premise! Tantric sex is based in the Eastern view of sex as a powerful furnace of energy. The longer it lasts, the more potential there is for stoking the flames, so to speak. During Tantric sex, your partner focuses on a slower rhythm — sometimes not moving at all — and when he feels himself approaching climax, he changes the tempo to bring himself back to a medium level of arousal. During intercourse, you tune in to each other’s breathing and heart beats. You make eye contact. Try to envision it as if you’re exchanging energy in a cyclic way. The idea is to be completely immersed in the moment, and if or when orgasm does occur, it’s bound to be explosive!
If Tantric sex isn’t quite what you’re looking for, switching things up is a surefire way to delay his grand finale. Try alternating oral sex with intercourse, or taking turns giving and receiving pleasure. Finding the perfect pace will increase your pleasure, certainly, and get things off on the right foot. Remember: Slow and steady wins this race!