Try a Surrender Date

In today’s modern world, women do it all. From running successful businesses to raising kids to keeping Martha Stewart–esque homes, women have a million things on their plates. Whether you’re a true “type A,” or just a multitasker, it is likely that at times you can be a bit controlling. It comes with the territory — when you have to do it all, you learn how to be on top of everything and everyone.

Although running a tight ship makes you talented at your job and an awesome mom, it also means that you have a hard time letting go and being “in the moment.” Some women are so uptight about relinquishing control that they even have trouble enjoying sex or time with their partner. They are driven by the need to direct every moment and make everything perfect. In this scenario, date nights are not fun and relaxing, they become all about you making it to the dinner reservation on time and ordering the perfect entrée for yourself…and your partner.

Would you like to try something different and let go of the pressure of holding it all together and being in charge all the time? There is a way to stop this controlling date-night behavior in its tracks — through a “surrender date.”

A surrender date requires that you give up control and sit back and relax. Your partner agrees to do all the planning, and you agree to go along for the ride. This helps you let go and relax, and it helps him to stand up and assert some authority in a safe, sexy way. But for it to work, each of you really has to hold up your end of the bargain.

First and perhaps most important, the surrender-date planner does everything from start to finish. It goes something like this:

• He picks out your clothes and jewelry (and even your underwear!).
• He decides when and where you’re going.
• He takes charge of all the logistics, such as transportation and money.

The first time you go on a surrender date, it may feel a little too scary to give up all that control — but that’s the point! A surrender date isn’t just some kitschy idea that you’ll be bored with in five minutes. It really shakes up your routine and your relationship. A little bit of pressure helps to inspire creativity in your partner and a stronger sense of trust in you.

As for what to do, the options are endless. Your partner may choose to relive a past date or try a new adventure. He can challenge you to try something new, like taking tennis or dance lessons together, or he may seek out comedy clubs or blues joints that you might not have considered before. The more adventurous your dating life, the more excited and intimate you will be as a couple.

In addition, giving up control can be incredibly exhilarating, which is something that few women think about. Putting timeworn activities and roles to rest is a good thing. Surrender dates introduce new sensations and pleasures to your love life, which is a necessary part of keeping your spark alive.