Ask Dr. Berman: What Makes Tantric Sex Different?

Q: What's the difference between a regular sex position and a tantric sex position?

A: The main difference between regular and tantric sex positions is that tantric positions are designed for purposes beyond sexual gratification. They are meant to connect you deeply and soulfully with your partner. This ancient practice celebrates the powerful vibrations between sex partners, and it enriches each stroke and touch. While pleasure is certainly not forbidden — and is often experienced — the positions are intended to heal what ails you physically and bring you closer to your partner both spiritually and emotionally.

Since regular sex positions can also do this, the real question is what are you looking to achieve through sex? Tantric sex positions can be a great way to break out of a stale routine and try something new. They require you to move your body in certain ways and to hold positions that might normally be considered uncomfortable or difficult. Many of the positions are intended for specific sexual problems, such as difficulties with orgasm, premature ejaculation, and low libido. Others are designed to treat more general health concerns, such as headaches and depression. Positioning the body in specific ways stimulates various pressure points on the penis and in the vagina, and ultimately leads to healing. According to Eastern medicine, the most powerful pressure points on the body are located on the genitals.

Finally, tantric positions may help you and your partner discover a few hot spots you never knew existed!

Tantra and Early Ejaculation
Everyone from Sting to P. Diddy have lauded the amazing powers of tantric sex, and with good reason! Tantra can help increase sexual enjoyment, extend lovemaking, and help keep you and your partner in the moment. Tantra teaches you to slow down, breathe deeply. And experience sex on a spiritual level as well as on a physical level.

Adopting tantric basics in your sex life is simple. The most important thing to remember is that tantric sex isn’t necessarily linear. This is because orgasm is not the end-all, be-all goal. Instead, the goal is to feel, to learn how to approach sex as something sensual, mystical, and sacred. There is no rush to the finish line and no script delineating beginning, middle, and end.

Instead, you should focus on connecting with your partner. Practice ‘soul-gazing’ in which you eat sit facing each other, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. Sync your breathing so that you are breathing together. Touch each other from head to toe, exploring each other’s bodies and sensual spots. Remember, there is no need to rush to orgasm. The journey is more important than the destination.

Update Your Safer Sex Practices.
Condoms are a great way to help increase orgasm control, along with helping to promote safer sex. There are condoms which are specifically made to help treat early ejaculation, such as Durex Performax condoms. Performax Condoms contain a numbing agent- called Benzocaine- inside the condom which helps the man to control climax and prolong excitement.

With these products and techniques, you can create longer-lasting sex and more pleasurable intimacy for you and your partner.

 — Dr. Laura Berman

Read more Sex and Love Advice from Dr. Laura Berman.