There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect sex life, but there are ways to ensure that you and your partner stay close throughout the years. Consider the following:
Be the change you want to see in your relationship. Want more romance? Be more romantic. Want more spontaneity? Be more spontaneous. Don’t sit around and wait for your partner to read your mind and do all the work. When you take the initiative and make positive changes in your sex life, you will not only feel empowered and seductive, but you will also inspire your partner to start making some positive changes of his own!
Forget traditional date nights. If your date-night routine is boring and predictable (e.g., dinner and a movie), then your date-night sex will likely be boring and predictable as well. Turn your date nights upside down by trying new and even daring activities. When you engage in scary activities with your spouse (such as riding a roller coaster or bungee jumping), your brain releases dopamine and adrenaline that mimics the excitement you felt during your first months of dating. Even if you aren’t the thrill-seeker type, you can still pump up your adrenaline by having a scary-movie night or hitting the slopes together.
Surrender control. Many women have a hard time letting go of control in the bedroom because they are so used to going a million miles an hour. Multitasking makes you a great mother, wife, and corporate maven, but it can also make it hard for you to let go and let loose in the bedroom. Learn how to relinquish control and enjoy yourself by trying out a surrender date. On a surrender date, your partner is in charge of everything. He picks your outfit, your accessories, the restaurant, the route to the restaurant, and even your lingerie. It might feel a little strange (and even upsetting at first) to let go of the control factor, but by doing so you might find that it is much easier to simply sit back and enjoy yourself…especially when it comes to enjoying yourself in the bedroom!
Just do it. People often sit around and wait for the mood to strike when they are in a committed, long-term relationship. However, the more you sit around and wait for your libido to suddenly spark up on its own, the more it will decrease and dissipate. Sex is based on a “use it or lose it” philosophy, which is why it’s a good idea to go ahead and just do it sometimes, even if you aren’t in the mood. You will often find that if you are willing to give sex a chance, you will find yourself in the mood after all. Of course, you shouldn’t have sex if you absolutely don’t want to, but if your emotions are there, listen to your desires and your body will likely follow.
Go the doctor. If your health isn’t on track, then your sex life is going to suffer as a result. While a nutritious diet and plenty of exercise will do wonders for your libido, it’s also important to visit your doctor and ask questions about any concerns you might have. Whether you have a question about lubrication, hormones, or your sexual response, your doctor is an invaluable resource when it comes to improving your sex life and getting your relationship on track.
Here’s to great sex!
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