Nothing is more sensual and passionate than submitting to the will of your partner.
Being submissive in bed can be highly erotic. It’s a great way to spice up your connection. When you actively surrender to your partner, sex becomes sensational. You're at the mercy of your man's touch — and not knowing what's next can make sex more intense and exciting.
Your arousal is heightened when you give up all the control — especially if you've ever fantasized about being taken charge of in bed. Set the scene: Close your eyes and imagine being ravaged by your partner, a sexy stranger, anyone — just get lost in your own delicious fantasy.
Then let your partner in on your secret. Of course, don't tell him if you've been fantasizing about someone else (that's for your own personal inspiration), but do tell him you want to be totally under his control. Believe me, he'll be thrilled with his new authority! You can lay down some ground rules if you'd like. Will you be tied up? Should he tease you? Think about what you want out of the experience and then let him take the wheel. Even better, let him surprise you right from the get-go — you'll both love it!
Another way to take submission to the next level is to make the whole night about submission. Whenever couples are stuck in a rut, I often recommend a surrender date, in which the woman surrenders all control to her partner throughout the night. He gets to pick the time, the place, even her outfit and her panties. It can be thrilling to give your partner that much control, especially if you are usually the type of person who is a control freak. Letting go of the reins and taking a breath will be a great way for you to relax and enjoy the date, and it will be highly erotic for him to be in the driver’s seat for a change.
You can also experiment with a little S & D (submission and domination). It doesn’t have to be anything too hardcore! Just think a little light spanking, handcuffs, hot candle wax, and maybe even a bit of roleplay. While S & D can be a little intimidating at first, you can ease into it by talking about it beforehand with your partner. Discuss what S & D activities you find erotic, and share hidden fantasies as a romantic prelude on date night. Make sure you discuss boundaries and what behaviors you aren’t comfortable with. For example, you might be okay with light bondage, but you might not enjoy being blindfolded or gagged.
And don’t forget the importance of a “safe” word. Part of S & D play is playfully resisting your partner, so saying “Stop” or “Don’t” might be interpreted as part of the roleplaying. That’s why it’s important to have a word which can clearly be understood as “No.” Make it a benign word unrelated to sexual play, such as “orange” or “lamp.” Once you have had your fun being the submissive one, you can swap roles the next time to give him a taste of being under your erotic thumb.
Previous« How to Be a Tease