Masturbating for Your Partner

Masturbation is good for your sex life. It helps you get in touch with your own sexual response, and it can also be a form of sexual sharing with your partner.

First, start by becoming comfortable with touching yourself. Masturbation and sexual fantasies can help you submerge yourself in an amorous frame of mind. It can also help to contribute to that “slow burn” I often talk about. You might think just the opposite (that you will be expending your sexual energy on yourself), but remember: Sex is the gift that keeps on giving. The more you generate and enjoy sexual energy, the more is produced! The more connected you are to the sensuality of your body, the more sexual and attractive you will feel…especially if you and your partner can both be open and secure with masturbation for yourself and for each other.

Once you become comfortable touching yourself, you might consider It can be very sexy to share your pleasure — for his viewing pleasure — and let him watch as you touch yourself. This can be a special thrill if it is something you have never done before, and it might be a form of foreplay that neither of you will tire of. The next step would be embarking on mutual masturbation with your partner. Though whether you both join in or you just let your partner watch as you slowly touch and arouse yourself, these acts can definitely bring a whole new dynamic into the bedroom.

Consider the following tips to get you started:

1. Get into the swing of things by masturbating alone when no one is around.
2. Keep in mind that you aren’t going to be able to enjoy yourselves and reach orgasm if you keep thinking about how silly you feel or how embarrassing it would be if someone walked in on you. Try to replace these negative thoughts with positive statements, such as thinking about how sexy you feel and how it would turn your partner on if he could see you touching yourself.
3. Once you have mastered solo play, pick a time for playfulness when your partner and you will be undisturbed. Whisper into his ear some erotic details so he knows what you are planning. Not only will it get you started on the road to mutual masturbation, but it will get both your libidos revved up.
4. When your partner joins you, you can masturbate together side-by-side. Focus on yourself and just enjoy the sexual energy that you can create without even touching each other. Close your eyes or glance at each other from time to time, but remember to make your enjoyment the focus.
5. Lastly, on your next endeavor, you can masturbate facing each other. If looking into each other’s eyes feels too awkward, you can watch his hands. Not only will it be very sexy for you to see him touching himself, but you will also pick up some tips for stimulating him in a way that he enjoys.

Remember, everyone masturbates, and it’s a completely healthy and normal activity, not one that you should feel embarrassed about or ashamed of!