A Woman's Guide to Masturbation

Masturbation is a time for you to let your mind run wild and explore your body without any inhibitions. It is a time to create the sensation of pleasure and experience release. This means that for you to reach orgasm, you’ll need to carve out some time and space to be relaxed and free of stress. If you are new to masturbation, this will be of special importance.

Find a time and a place you can be alone so you can truly focus on and enjoy your own pleasure. For example, you can explore yourself in the bathtub behind a locked door, in your bedroom when everyone’s at work or school, or after the kids are asleep. Set the scene to help yourself get in the mood. It might feel silly to “romance” yourself, but you will be more likely to reach orgasm if you create a loving and romantic atmosphere for yourself. For example, light some candles and play music that gets you in the mood. Anything you can do to create a general mood of seduction and love — and even a little sexual heat — will help.

It’s not a time to think about how you want to lose weight, how you need to mow the lawn, or even how silly you feel masturbating. It is not a time to berate yourself or your body. If you find yourself feeling and thinking these things, return your focus back to the present. After all, it’s called self-love for a reason…it’s a time to let go of all your anxieties and insecurities and just love yourself. Seducing yourself, loving yourself, and feeling the different sensations that radiate throughout your body is all part of the experience.

Start With the Mental Foreplay

It’s always great to have some “go-to” fantasies at your disposal. This way, you can cull through your mental Rolodex whenever you have the time or inclination to self-stimulate. These fantasies can be as wild as you prefer, whether it’s about your sexy next-door neighbor (male or female), a well-built celebrity, or even a long-ago ex-boyfriend. Nothing is off-limits in the fantasy realm. You can feel free to imagine any sexual pleasures and experiences that turn you on.

With these sexy images, thoughts, and fantasies at the front of your mind, it’s time to move on to the physical foreplay. Start slow by exploring your whole body, stroking, squeezing, or massaging your breasts and/or nipples, stroking the erogenous zones you can reach, running your fingers along your inner thighs and labia, and finally stimulating your clitoris. Use your index finger to lightly begin applying pressure to your clitoris, slowly and rhythmically rubbing yourself. As you begin to get more aroused, you can intensify your pressure and speed up.

Stimulate your other erogenous zones as you do so. Massage your breasts or use your hand to stimulate your periurethral area, applying deep and strong pressure to the region. If you want to use a sex toy and lubrication, consider the list here. However, if you don’t have a sex toy handy, don’t despair. You can use handy household items like a hand-held shower head in the bathroom, which can apply tons of feel-good sensations on your clitoris and genitals.

Make a commitment to masturbate on a regular basis. Doing so will keep you connected to your body and your sexual response, and it will keep your sexuality fresh and alive. Not to mention, it’s just darn fun!