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Dr. Berman on... Better Sex
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Good sex makes you healthier and happier, and keeps your relationship stronger. In these columns, Dr. Berman helps you find ways to keep the flame burning.
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Slow Down, You Move Too Fast
These days, hectic schedules make it a challenge for men and women to find time for sex. If we’re not running to work, meeting up with friends and family, or taking care of our kids, we’re probably in bed — sleeping.
In fact, when men and women finally use the bed for something other than sleep, time is still a big issue; though not in the way you might think.
Feeling like there is never enough time for sex is a common source of frustration. But getting on the same schedule once inside the bedroom can be just as difficult. When women and men finally get down to "it," she’s hoping for a four-course meal with coffee and dessert and he’s ordering a Big Mac.
It takes the average man between five and ten minutes to reach orgasm, with a refractory period that can last from five minutes to several days. The average woman’s time-to-orgasm is a half hour, with little or no recovery period.
We are living in two different time zones.
Fortunately, there are many ways to bridge this gap, without becoming a time traveler or resigning yourself to a life of unshared orgasms.
One of these is the practice of tantric sex. Tantrism is based, in part, on the belief that our sexuality is a well of energy, capable of transforming all who tap into it. By giving in to our most primal sexual desires, and also remaining in control of them, we are able to learn new things about ourselves, increase spiritual awareness, and intensify the sexual experience.
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