Sleep: Are You Getting Enough?

Sleep is the sex of our modern times — and one survey makes it official.

A recent poll by the National Sleep Foundation found that we Americans are practically sleepwalking through our lives. And too little snoozing takes the oomph right out of that other activity we do in our beds: sex.

The survey found that the average American is falling short of the seven-to-nine-hour nightly sleep recommendation. Aside from compromising performance at work and adding hazardous drivers to the morning commute, skimpy sleep makes intimacy more like drudgery — at least for the half of Americans who consider themselves poor sleepers.

So why is sleep sexy? Among the good sleepers, just 8 percent said that their intimacy was affected by feeling tired. Among the sleep-impaired, more than 33 percent reported that fatigue was invading their sex lives and leaving less satisfaction in its wake.

It may be our go-go-go society that has made a good night’s rest seem like a luxury. But sleep is not a luxury; it is an essential, if not entirely understood, component of our physical and mental health. Scientists know that it does something good for the brain, which then affects every other part of our being — mood, immune function, memory, metabolism, and virtually every other process imaginable. It makes sense that sex would also go when these other functions are on the decline. When we women don’t feel good — in any way — we don’t want to have sex. There has even been research that REM sleep is important for maintaining good genital blood flow and that women sometimes get clitoral erections (known as engorgement) during REM sleep!

It’s time for all of us to wake up and make sleep the priority it should be. If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your partner. Over 75 percent of those surveyed reported that their partner had a sleep-related problem. When insomnia, snoring, or any other chronic sleep disturbance drives a couple to sleep in separate bedrooms, the relationship often suffers. Sharing a bed allows you to take advantage of sexual opportunities when the mood hits, and keeps you otherwise connected with pillow talk and cuddling.

Good sleep comes from good preparation. Avoid alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine for two to three hours before bedtime. Some women can be especially sensitive to caffeine and may want to avoid consuming it up to eight hours before. Putting aside worries and disagreements early in the night will also help you get a better night’s rest. Women can have a hard time turning off their minds, so tuning out sources of stress before you get into bed is important.

It might be useful to learn some relaxation techniques or yoga poses for nights that you just can’t wind down. These techniques also come in handy when you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and unable to fall back asleep. Make sure your bedroom is free of clutter and that your bed itself is comfortable.

Most of all, make going to bed at a regular, early hour a priority. Getting that last bit of housework done or talking on the phone is not going to satisfy you the way sleep will. So the next time you or your partner fall asleep on each other, don’t be so quick to take offense. Consider it an investment in your sex life for tomorrow night!