Never Air Your Dirty Laundry in Public

In today’s world of Facebook and Twitter, privacy boundaries are blurred. It has become all too easy to overshare and expose intimate secrets to the world, even when it comes to your relationship. Unfortunately, this oversharing can be incredibly hurtful and destroy the trust between you and your partner — especially when it comes to discussing sexual matters.

He will no longer feel safe being vulnerable and open with you, and as a result your communication will suffer and your relationship will go off track. Once you share intimate details with people outside your relationship, you lose control over where and how and to whom that private information gets spread. The gossip ball has started rolling, and it’s impossible to stop.

Gossip is always a destructive force, but when it comes to sexual matters in your relationship, it can be devastating. Demeaning your partner to your friends is disrespectful and has the potential to permanently harm the trust in your relationship. And there’s no excuse for posting your intimate secrets on social media! Because of this, it is important not to spill confidential details about your relationship, even if others tell you anything and everything about their own relationships.

Here are some tools for how to keep gossip from ruining your relationship (and how to know when you are crossing the line):

If it feels mean, it is mean. Plain and simple. Sitting around and bad-mouthing your spouse is not only destructive to his reputation, it can also chip away at your love and respect for him. It will create a negative atmosphere and set up an unhealthy pattern in which you and your friends slip into complaining and whining whenever you hang out together. Nip this in the bud. Say positive things about your partner. You don’t have to brag or talk him up (although if it comes from a genuine place, why not?), but you should check any negative comments before they leave your lips.

Go to your partner when you have a problem. Once of the best ways to end negative talk behind your partner’s back is to go to him with any problems you might have. You won’t need to gossip or vent to your friends if you talk your issues out with your partner. Not only will this remove the potential for oversharing, but it will also keep your relationship peaceful and free from tension and festering issues.

Don’t listen to gossip. If one of your friends is venting or complaining about her partner, you might feel tempted to listen and encourage her. But, remember, all a gossip needs is an audience, and by giving your friend that audience, you aren’t doing her (or her relationship) any favors. Instead, offer compassionate and helpful advice like, “That sounds rough. I bet if you talk about it with your partner he will see your point of view.” Not only will this be beneficial to her, but it will also create a positive atmosphere and engender healthy habits in you and your close friends.