Think you know everything about your partner? Think again!
Even if it feels like you've been together forever, there are probably still some details about your lives that you’ve yet to reveal to each other — and that's a good thing! Couples who continue discovering new facets of each other continue to nourish their connection. Seeking out secret wishes, untold memories, and overlooked preferences will bring a new life to your relationship.
Try slipping some of these simple questions into your dinner conversation or while the two of you are talking in bed. You can even send them via e-mail as a fun workday diversion:
- If you could have one wish granted tomorrow, what would it be?
- What gets you in the mood?
- What quality do you admire most in people?
- Have you ever stolen anything?
- What did your mom pack in your school lunch growing up?
- Who would you want to be reincarnated as?
- What's the best feeling in the world?
- What job would you never want?
- Who was your first crush?
- How are you different from what you were like five years ago?
Of course, when it comes to finding out more about your partner, nothing is more interesting than finding out about his hidden sexual desires. Often, we tend to hide our deepest sexual longings, particularly from our longtime partners, as we feel awkward or even silly tapping into that side of ourselves. Luckily, the truth is that although it might feel awkward at first, your partner would love to know all about your hidden desires, just as you would love to hear all about his!
If coming forward and sharing these desires verbally is too daunting, consider creating a fantasy box. Get a small jewelry box or a decorative case and bring it into the bedroom. (If you have children, put the box somewhere high they cannot reach, or make sure to choose a box with a lock.) Bring a notepad and a pen and set it next to the box. Whenever you and your partner think of a sexual fantasy, grab the pen and jot it down on a slip of paper, then fold it up and stick it in the box. By writing these things down (rather than having to voice them out loud), you will feel braver and more confident as you finally confess that you have always wanted to act out, say, a little bondage and domination fantasy, or as you confess that you actually want to get busy in a public place. Whatever your fantasy might be, go ahead and share it! (One caveat: Some fantasies are best kept in the mental realm. If you secretly find your next-door neighbor sexy, or if you have always fantasized about a certain celebrity, it’s best to keep those potentially hurtful desires to yourself.)
The fantasy box can come into play after date night or whenever you and your partner are looking for a little sexual inspiration. You can both peruse the slips together and choose your favorite. You might be shocked to discover that your partner has been dying to try a certain position or to find that you and he both share the same superhero fantasy.
Keep exploring each other like you did when you first began dating; you'll find you can never know everything there is to know about each other, and that will help keep your relationship exciting and fresh.