It’s often said that men and women are from different planets, but it's the act of joining forces and creating a working partnership of two individuals that makes falling in love so sweet. Both of you have to do your part for the union to work. By focusing on what you can do to tighten the bonds of intimacy (rather than waiting for him to take the lead), you can be sure to make some powerful and lasting changes in your relationship.
Tips for Her:
Ask for what you want. Tell him when something feels good. Vocalize what drives you wild — whether it's when he kisses your neck, rubs your behind, or whatever you're craving tonight. He wants to do what turns you on, so let him know when he gets it right!
Start thinking sex. When you read, watch, or otherwise think about sex, you're going to get the right juices flowing. Boost your libido by making sex more of a presence in your life. Buy some erotica or sexy videos; keep a romance novel in your purse. Use them when you need to get in the mood or when it's been a while.
Just do it! The more you have sex, the more you will want to have sex and the closer your relationship with your partner will feel. Often, you just need to get things started to realize you are, in fact, in the mood.
Tips for Him:
Invest in a little “choreplay.” A recent study found that women are more likely to be attracted to their mates after they helped out around the house, whether it was emptying the dishwasher or folding the laundry. Why? Probably because women are so frenzied trying to do it all that they have no energy leftover for sex. Help her out around the house, and you will not only earn brownie points (and a cleaner house), but you will also give her a chance to relax…and a chance for her libido to shoot on up!
Take charge. Husbands can sometimes feel nagged by their partners, but the truth is that your partner values and appreciates your opinion. Speak up and assert yourself, rather than sitting back and letting her take control. Even though it seems like she enjoys being a type A personality, the truth is that being in charge becomes tiresome, especially when you are supposed to be equal partners, so help her out by taking over the reins now and then.
Treat her to special surprises. Men often think they need to bring out the big guns to impress their partners, but the truth is that it is the little things that count. Forget the dozen roses and the expensive dinner, and commit to being a thoughtful lover throughout the day. Bring her a cup of coffee in the morning, or start her car during the winter so she doesn’t have to shiver during her ride to work. Refill her prescriptions for her or pick up dry cleaning. Anything that makes her life easier and shows her how much you care will fit the bill, no matter how big or small the act might be!