Couples in Crisis: Nicole and Kassan

Brief Synopsis: A couple confronts the issue of a large age difference.

Couple: Nicole and Kassan

Challenge: Nicole and Kassan are separated by over 20 years in age difference. She is 28 while he is 50 (but a very young 50, as he proclaims).

How they cope: Nicole is just graduating school while Kassan is already well-established in his career. She takes a nurturing role in her relationship, while he is happy to provide her with whatever she needs. However, they worry this setup could lead to issues down the road.

Where they’re stuck: Nicole is making her first steps into her career and will be soon be moving near Kassan. They are worried their age difference and sudden proximity might change their relationship in ways they are not prepared for.

Dr. Berman’s homework:

Allow your partner room to grow. If you are the person who is accustomed to taking a leadership role in the relationship, you might have to confront a time when your partner wants more independence and say-so in the household. You have to allow your partner room to grow and develop, particularly if a large age difference is a factor.

Spend time together before moving in. If you have been in a long-distance relationship for an extended period of time, you might not want to take the leap and move in right away. Take things slow and spend as much time together as possible before committing to such a big step.