Couples in Crisis: Heidi and Rory

Brief Synopsis: A couple deals with lack of communication and not enough appreciation.

Couple: Heidi and Rory

Challenge: Heidi wants Rory to woo her like a character in a romantic comedy, but he can’t seem to give her the tenderness and affection she craves.

How they cope: Heidi needs more love and tenderness in her life, but her partner Rory isn’t sure how to deliver. He tries to follow her instructions, but Heidi thinks his efforts feel forced.

Where they’re stuck: Heidi and Rory don’t speak the same love language, and as a result, their communication has completely broken down. She needs romantic gestures and sweet nothings to feel loved, but Rory (like most men) isn’t sure how to step up to the plate.

Dr. Berman’s homework:

Give your man instructions. The best way to bridge miscommunications gaps is by being open, honest, and forthright. Give your partner a list of things he can do to help make you feel special and loved, and ask him to do the same. It’s so much easier than guessing in the dark, and it can help you to both get the love and attention you need.

Lower your expectations and look for the good in your partner. Most women would love for their partner to be as romantic and spontaneous as the men we see in romantic comedies, but Hollywood movies are far from reality. It’s okay to tell your partner what you need and to look for ways to create more magic and romance in your relationship, but be realistic with your expectations, especially at first. Your partner won’t turn into Rico Suave over night, but he can learn how to express his love and give you the affection you need.