Beware of the Late-Night Booty Call

You've been wanting and waiting to hear from this guy all week, and finally you see his number on your caller ID as the phone rings... at 11 p.m. on a Saturday. Your mind races through a million excuses why he's waited until now ("maybe his phone was broken," "maybe his grandmother died"), but in your heart you know he's ringing you for one reason and one reason only: This is a booty call.

You can answer the phone and, in fact, give him the benefit of the doubt. But you risk being suckered into giving him exactly what he wants, and sending him the impression that you're available whenever he wants you. He's talking, you're talking, and before you know it you're both in your bed. While there's a time and place for casual sex, your head is most likely not in the right place in this situation, since you might be feeling desperate and unguarded after waiting for his call.

Your best option is not to answer and have him leave a message. You not only get to appear fabulously busy somewhere else, but you'll send him the message that late-night phone calls are not your thing. You can call him back the following day or, better yet, wait and see if he calls you back. If you simply must answer that ringing phone, schedule breakfast or brunch the next morning as the soonest you can see him. The last thing you want to do is let him know you're at his every beck and phone call.

How Soon is Too Soon?
Regardless of your own religious or moral beliefs on premarital sex, the decision of when to be intimate always is a hot-button issue for couples. Whether you are debating sex on the first date or sex before your wedding night, intimacy has the power to change the landscape of your relationship, and not always for the better.

If you want to safeguard your relationship against the potential pitfalls of intimacy, consider the following:

Make sure you are both on the same page. People often confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy. They go into a sexual situation looking for affection, validation, support, and connection, and sometimes all they find is sex.

Of course, if sex is all you are looking for, then by all means, enjoy yourself (with protection!). But if you are seeking a relationship and a lasting connection, be aware that speeding up sexual intimacy isn’t the way to get there. In fact, having sex too soon can put an end to an otherwise budding relationship.

Sex is an exciting, pleasurable part of being a couple, but it also can take away the mystery and thrill of the chase, especially if you jump in too soon.

To make sure this doesn’t happen, spend some time getting to know your partner on a deeper level and discuss what you are both seeking from the relationship. Make sure you also discuss sexual health issues, along with STD testing and protection.

Finally, make sure that you have common interests and goals before you hit the bedroom. Discuss whether you are interested in commitment, whether you have similar core values and beliefs, and whether or not you want a future together.