Monogamy isn’t always easy, but it is a way of life for most people who intend to stay married. Even with all the ubiquitous temptations — from the office space to cyberspace — there are ways to safeguard your relationship so you and your partner won’t want to stray. The foundation for monogamy begins with open, honest communication and the commitment to continuously work on your relationship. With that in place, there are other important safeguards against infidelity infiltrating your relationship.
Acknowledge Temptation. No matter how happy you are in your relationship, sexual desires and interest in others may never entirely disappear. It is human nature to notice certain someones who are special or sexy and feel drawn to them. There will always be people we find attractive, whether we encounter them at the office or online, and that’s healthy and normal. It’s okay — and in fact important — to acknowledge to yourself that you feel an attraction toward someone else. Even fantasizing about this person in the privacy of your own mind is fine. Just be mindful of not crossing the line by acting on these desires emotionally or physically — or sharing them with your partner, which might cause hurt feelings.
Make a Contract With Your Partner. Be clear with your mate about what is acceptable in your relationship. Establishing comfortable boundaries and guidelines of what’s acceptable behavior — or not — for both of you will eliminate the gray area and avoid situations that could lead you down the wrong path. For example, if you wouldn’t make the same suggestive comments in front of your partner, then you shouldn’t post them on an old flame’s Facebook page, even if your intentions are harmless.
Use the Urge to Flirt by Flirting With Your Partner. When you notice yourself feeling the desire to flirt in any significant manner, think about why. It’s very likely you are feeling the loss of something in your relationship, and very often it’s the loss of those butterflies you felt at the beginning. Take the first step and address this with your partner. It’s likely that he also will want to rekindle that early romantic fun. Whether it’s sending a sexy text, giving a subtle come-hither look across a crowded room, or turning on your humor and charm, it helps to reignite what you both felt at the beginning
Commit to Spicing Things Up. Make your love life more fun and daring with your partner. Discover ways to bring a sense of newness to the bedroom. You may feel shy at first, but step out of your comfort zone just a little more each time by trying something new. Start with a new position, sex product, or experience. Sex is as boring or as exciting as you make it. It’s easy to fall into a rut — especially if you’ve been with someone for years — but lazy sex isn’t going to keep you or your partner interested. How about dressing up and stripping down, role-playing, or incorporating erotica into your bedroom routine? Not only do these experiences hint at the forbidden, they can provide new sources of stimulation for you both.
Rediscover the Person You Fell in Love With. Remember how you and he first saw each other when you fell passionately in love? When you first met, you were a fascinating person with a unique set of interests, ideas, and insights. You were the girl who could recite the lyrics to every new indie rock song, and he was the guy who would spend hours restoring his vintage Mustang. While you might not have shared each other’s passions, you at one time found them fascinating. Make sure to prioritize the time and space for each other to pursue your own individual interests, whether that means a book group with the girls or a fantasy football league with his buddies.
Above all, your relationship requires communication and effort, along with a never-ending commitment to take care of each other physically and emotionally. Having this as your overriding mantra will go a long way toward keeping your monogamy intact.