According to the law of attraction, like attracts like. We see in the world what is within us. For example, have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood everything seems to go wrong? It seems like you can’t catch a break and that the entire world is conspiring to ensure that you are in a terrible mood: The waitress at the coffee shop is rude, the train is crowded with thoughtless commuters, and your coworkers are snappish.
Of course, in reality, the universe doesn’t have it in for you. Since you are already in a negative mood, you are predisposed to notice negativity in the world around you. Instead of noticing that the waitress is harried and overwhelmed, you might interpret her shortness as a reflection of her lack of regard, and the same goes for the commuters and your coworkers. When you are already in a negative emotional space, you will be much more likely to see negativity in others as well, and you will be much more likely to misinterpret people’s behavior and take things personally.
Luckily, the opposite is also true. When you are in a good mood, you will feel more upbeat about the world around you. This time, the waitress greets you with a smile and maybe a commuter even moves to allow you a seat on the train. You are not crazy: People really are responding to you differently, but it is not for an arbitrary reason. It is because you are in a good mood and people can read that in an instant, from the smile on your face to the spring in your step. They see you in a positive light and treat you well in turn.
The law of attraction also plays a role in our love lives. If you are bitter about a past breakup or cynical of the opposite sex, you will channel that bitterness and lack of trust into your dates and future relationships. You will likely end up with a partner who has mutual concerns — and this will spell major trouble down the road. Yet, if you are confident, secure, and open, you will likely find a mate with similar assets.
So how can you make sure that you attract a positive mate who will enrich your life?
First, you have to look inward and examine any issues that have complicated your relationships in the past. For example, maybe you have struggled with sharing your feelings, or maybe you have had a hard time opening up in the bedroom. Once you are aware of your issues, they become much easier to resolve.
Second, visualize what you want in your life. You might make a vision board on which you pin images, quotes, or slips of paper reflecting your dreams. Each time you look at it, you will be reminded to think positively and work toward your goals.
Last, be aware that the issues that annoy you the most in others are often the issues you struggle with as well. It’s known as “you spot it, you got it,” and it means that we respond the most viscerally to negative qualities in others that we have ourselves. The next time you are having a bad day or focusing on someone else’s flaws, step back and ask yourself: Why am I getting so angry right now? Could it be that I am seeing something in someone that I actually don’t like in myself? Once you realize this, you can move forward with optimism and better attract a mate who has the qualities to complement you and your life.
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