How to Create a Deeper Connection and Improve Your Bond
A great relationship doesn’t happen overnight. Even the most compatible and passionate couples need to put effort into their partnerships. Here are five easy ways to boost intimacy and connection with your partner:
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Make a fantasy box. If you want heightened intimacy, you have to be more open and honest with your spouse, especially when it comes to sex. Create a “fantasy box” to keep in the bedroom. Write down your sexual fantasies and put them in the box. Whenever things get dull or routine in the bedroom, pull out a slip and act out the fantasy!
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Become adrenaline junkies. Doing something new and scary with your partner will bring you closer, whether it’s watching a horror movie, riding a roller coaster, or bungee jumping. If you aren’t crazy about the idea of risking bodily harm, simply try something out of the ordinary together — sampling a cuisine you've never tried, for example, or traveling somewhere new together.
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Don’t have sex. Really! Sometimes the sexiest way you can build intimacy is by not having sex. Instead, try VENIS — very erotic noninsertive sex. With VENIS, the focus isn’t on going from 0 to 60 mph in order to reach orgasm. And once penetration is off the table, you'll be surprised at how sensual sex can become. Try giving each other hot oil massages, playing with feathers, using body paint, and arousing each other in ways other than traditional intercourse.
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Make time for your own interests. One of the best ways to bond as a couple is to spend time apart. Couples who do everything together aren’t necessarily any closer than couples who spend time apart — and they're a lot more likely to get on each other’s nerves! Make sure you spend time enjoying activities and being with friends the way you did when you were single. Don’t completely lose the person you were before you met your partner — after all, that was the person he fell in love with!
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Tell your partner what you want. We often expect our partners to be mind readers and automatically know what we want. Of course, this is impossible, and when we're inevitably disappointed, we become resentful and bitter. Rather than getting upset with your partner for not giving you things he doesn’t even know you need, be open about what you are looking for. Couch your request in a compliment rather than a complaint. For instance, you could say “I really like it when you help me clean the house — it shows me how much you care for me and helps me relax and enjoy our time together” or “It really turns me on when you take your time on foreplay before we have sex.”
Remember, all good relationships require communication, effort, and a little commitment to spicing things up!