Emotional Causes of Low Sex Drive in Women

Sexual pleasure isn’t always as straightforward and simple as one might desire. Great sex doesn’t necessarily happen overnight, and for many couples, sexual pleasure can ebb and flow throughout their relationship. At times, your sex life might be hot and heavy, but at other times, you might feel disconnected from your partner and may find yourself experiencing low sex drive. In fact, some partners even experience a lack of attraction to their mates, and as troubling as that can be, you can reclaim your sexual sparks once again.

Why does low libido due to lack of attraction happen?

Your partner used to spark butterflies and feelings of intense sexual attraction, but now you feel disconnected and uninspired in the bedroom. Why did this occur and does it mean your relationship is doomed?

No. Many couples experience a decline of sexual attraction over the years, especially if they do not take care to preserve their sexual relationship and if they don’t take care to maintain and nourish their sexual connection. Sexual connection can be ongoing and powerful throughout the decades, but only if you take steps to make your relationship a priority.

Sadly, for many couples, real life can often get in the way of their sexual connection and cause a low sex drive. Those early days of romantic dinners and tender embraces are replaced by long days at work and screaming kids, and instead of feeling attracted and desirable, you feel like you and your partner are simply platonic roommates working to keep the house in order. Not exactly sexy! No wonder so many couples struggle to feel sexually connected at times.

Getting the passion back in your relationship…

The good news is you can reclaim your passion once again.

Do a reality check of symptoms. First, take some time to assess your relationship and figure out where things are off-kilter. For example, maybe you let the kids sleep in your bed every night or maybe you haven’t had a date night since before your big promotion six months ago. Whatever the case, find ways to reprioritize and make time for your relationship once again. People with wonderful relationships and great sex lives don’t have some secret key — they simply put the time and effort into maintaining their love and making their sex life a priority.

Become lovers again. Find ways to bring back that sexual spark by ditching the “roommates” routine. Your partner is supposed to be your lover, so put some effort back into seducing him and reawakening his sexual desire. If you haven’t been taking care of yourself physically, get back into the habit of exercising, eating right, or just breaking out your naughtiest lingerie even on a regular Tuesday night. The key is to get back in the habit of treating each other as desirable and attractive mates, not just as "Mommy" and "Daddy."

Talk about what is going on. Talking about sex isn’t always easy, but it can be the most powerful and transformative thing you can do for your sexual pleasure and desire. You might even consider seeing a sex therapist to help you get things back on track (visit the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists Web site to find one in your area). Talking to a therapist doesn’t mean that your relationship is "broken" or that there is something wrong with your bond, it means that you are committing to putting each other first and to improving your relationship inside and outside the bedroom.

With commitment like that, you are sure to get the sparks firing once again. Remember, great sex takes a little effort, but it’s worth it!