How to Help Your Guy During Andropause

Aging is not always smooth sailing, but it is easier to navigate when you have a supportive first mate. If your partner is experiencing andropause he needs your help more now than ever.

Women are well-versed in these changes because we all go through menopause: you, your mother, and your grandmother before you. But since andropause does not happen for every male, or in every family, your guy might find himself on shaky ground when faced with it.

When a man goes through andropause — considered a form of menopause for males — he may begin to feel as if he is living in someone else’s body. Unlike women, men likely have little frame of reference or understanding of what is happening to them. And it is unlikely that andropause was something their fathers and grandfathers ever told stories about — let alone ever heard of! In fact, many men aren’t even aware of what andropause is, and, furthermore, it isn’t something that most want to learn more about. After all, it’s a big change, one that can threaten their identity and can seem to jeopardize their manhood.

Part of the reason for this is because andropause causes a decline in testosterone, and men tend to view it as something that drives a major aspect of who they are. Testosterone is strongly linked to their identity as men: it is the drive behind their sexual desire and prowess; it is the power that fuels them when they protect their family from danger; it is part of the lens of how they view the world. Hence, when they hear the words “decline in testosterone,” they can feel as if their very masculinity is on the line.

Of course, a decline in testosterone is not the end of a man’s identity as a virile, strong contributing member of society. Although it can lead to unpleasant symptoms in his health and sexual experiences, the truth is that andropause can be managed and treated quite effectively.

As his partner, you can do much to support him during this trying time:

Talk to him about it. Most men aren’t in the know when it comes to conditions such as andropause and menopause, and as such, they might not fully grasp what is happening to them. They might wrongly believe that there are no available treatments or that there is no one else experiencing what they are. Knowing that they are not alone and that it isn’t an uncommon or abnormal problem will do much to help them feel better about the condition.

Guide him to the doctor. In many homes, women are often the ones who maintain the family’s health and well-being. Usually wives are the ones not only who schedule and take the children to the doctor and dentist, but encourage their husbands to go as well. You can take the same approach with sexual-health matters. Talk to him about how his doctor can help him and assure him that it is something many men discuss with their health-care providers.

Offer extra support and compliments. Women know that menopause can cause them to feel less sexy and womanly. Not only are the symptoms decidedly uncomfortable, but many also think that the loss of menstruation makes them less of a woman. Of course, we know this isn’t the case, and it is something most women can chat about with their girlfriends and work through. Andropause, however, isn’t a topic most men are comfortable broaching with their buddies.

Go the extra mile to offer him tons of compliments and reassurance. Let him know that you still find him sexy, virile, and desirable, and make an extra effort to woo him and seduce him. Just knowing that you still desire him and still consider him the man you fell in love with will go a long way in helping him navigate andropause with his self-esteem (and his health) intact.