The Truth About Rape: It Can Happen to Anyone

Anyone can be raped. This crime does not discriminate: No segment of society is truly safe from rape — men and women, the young and the old, and people of all ethnic and economic backgrounds have been victims. Although the legal definition of rape varies from state to state, rape is generally defined as “forced or nonconsensual sexual contact.” It is an act of aggression and power combined with some form of sexual contact. Victims may be raped by a stranger, an acquaintance, or even a loved one. Every victim copes with this traumatic experience differently, but there is one common feature in every rape experience: It’s never the victim’s fault!

Despite the past 30 years of increasing rape awareness and advocacy for victims, there are still many misconceptions about rape, and these myths can complicate the healing process for survivors. To help people who have been raped deal with their pain, it’s necessary to first address these myths and bring this topic out into the light so it can be discussed from a place of knowledge and compassionate understanding.

MYTH: The incidence of rape is exaggerated by the media and is not really that common.
FACT: In the United States, one in six women reported experiencing an attempted or completed rape at some time in their lives, according to the Centers for Disease Control. For women in college, 20 percent to 25 percent claim to have been victims of sexual violence.

MYTH: Women "ask for it."
FACT: Nobody ever wants or asks to be sexually assaulted. The idea that women deserve to be raped because they dress or behave "provocatively" shifts responsibility away from the offender and on to the victim. Every woman should have the liberty to dress and behave as she chooses without fearing that she is inviting sexual assault.

MYTH: Women who drink or take drugs often have a role in the rape.
FACT: We live in a culture that tends to blame victims, but rape is never the survivor’s fault. No one deserves to have been raped or invites sexual assault, even if the person has drunk to excess or exhibited bad judgment.

MYTH: Men can't be sexually assaulted.
FACT: Men are sexually assaulted. Any man can be sexually assaulted regardless of size, strength, appearance, or sexual orientation. Approximately 92,700 men are raped each year in the United States, according to statistics from the Illinois Attorney General’s office.

MYTH: Rape is committed only by strangers or crazed psychopaths who exist on the margins of society.
FACT: In 2000, the Centers for Disease Control reported that eight out of ten rape or sexual-assault victims not only knew the offender but stated that the crime was perpetrated by a boyfriend or girlfriend, relative, friend, or acquaintance. The overwhelming majority of rapists are seemingly normal people from a wide range of socioeconomic classes, occupations, and nationalities.

MYTH: Attractive young women are really the only group that need to worry about rape.
FACT: From an old, frail man in a nursing home to a young child, from a sophisticated urban apartment dweller to an impoverished rural resident, this traumatic and terrible crime happens to people from every demographic. Rape doesn’t discriminate on the basis of age, race, sex, or income.

MYTH: Rape is an impulsive act.
FACT: These crimes are not spontaneous, uncontrollable sexual acts. As many as 75 percent of all sexual assaults are planned in advance, often with the victim being targeted and monitored by the assailant.

MYTH: Women make up stories about rape because they want attention.
FACT: Rape is notoriously one of the most underreported of crimes: Only about 30 percent of rapes are reported to the police. Sadly, many rape victims not only fear retaliation by the offender but believe they will be judged by society for their falsely perceived role in the assault.

MYTH: A person who has really been sexually assaulted will be hysterical.
FACT: There is no “right way” to react to sexual assault. Sexual assault victims can be calm, hysterical, withdrawn, angry, in denial, or in shock.

Each survivor copes with rape differently. It is important to remember that there is no right way for a survivor to feel, and there is no set timeline for when a survivor should be feeling better.

Think of it this way: People do not ask to be mugged, yet every day thousands of people are accosted and robbed and barely know what hit them. The same is true for rape victims. Rape is an act of aggression and anyone can be raped.

Find additional rape support resources here