This summer Twilight actors Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart broke up amid stories that Stewart cheated on Pattinson. Pictures surfaced that showed Stewart being very friendly with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, and since those photos came to light, both Pattinson and Sanders’s wife, Liberty Ross, sought time away from their partners.
In the months that have followed, fans and family members alike have spoken out against Stewart. Robert Pattinson’s own sisters reportedly denounced Stewart’s actions, while fans have gone so far as to make T-shirts declaring “Kristen Stewart Is a Trampire.”
Amid all of this public scourging, many people wondered if Stewart would ever be able to reclaim her wildly popular career and acclaim, let alone her relationship with Pattinson (who was recently voted Glamour magazine’s sexiest man). However, recent reports suggest that the two have made amends. Several fans say they have spotted the two out and about together, while tabloids report that the two have been visiting each other’s homes.
While I am happy that love seems to have conquered all, it’s important to take precautions when rebuilding a relationship after an affair. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Don’t let other people dictate your feelings. If your partner has been unfaithful, it is natural to want to vent to family and friends. However, the flip side is that once you are ready to forgive and move on, your family and friends might not be. You need to let your confidantes know that you have made the decision to move past the affair and that they need to respect the decision.
Make your boundaries clear, and politely but firmly let your loved ones know that you and your partner are both recommitting to your relationship. Ask them to refrain from getting involved and passing judgment, and if they can’t, you might need to spend less time with them and more time focusing on healing your relationship.
Ask people not to take sides. Since the Stewart and Pattinson breakup, many people have chosen sides, with Twilight costars reportedly choosing Pattinson over Stewart and refusing to speak with her. While loyalty is important, it can be destructive in the long run if you have people in your life who don’t want to let the past go. Ultimately, only you and your partner (and your therapist) should be involved in discussing the affair, so if the gossip among your fellow friends and family continues, you need to step in and ask for a cease-fire. No one needs to know the gory details of the affair or the intimate details of your relationship rebuilding, so ask people to respect your privacy as you reclaim your bond, and make sure that you put the kibosh on oversharing. You might think that you are just venting to friends about your partner or the “other woman,” but you just might be making it even more difficult for them to forgive your partner or support your decision to return to the relationship.
If you truly want to move forward with a clean slate, you need your actions and conversations to reflect that intention. While infidelity is always painful and traumatic, luckily for most people, they don’t have to rebuild their relationship in front of paparazzi and millions of fans!