For Guys: Premature Ejaculation and Treatments

Premature ejaculation affects almost 30 percent of all American men. It is best defined as ejaculation that occurs within a minute or less of sexual stimulation. It can also describe the circumstance in which a man’s erection lasts longer than a minute, but he still reaches orgasm shortly thereafter or much sooner than desired.

For some men, premature ejaculation occurs each and every time they have sex; but for other men, it occurs more sporadically. Inevitably, most men will encounter an episode of premature ejaculation or two at some point in their lives. If it happens enough that it negatively impacts your sexual enjoyment and your relationships, then it is time to seek treatment.

In this culture, we have come to believe that premature ejaculation is due to a man’s uncontainable excitement. (For example, how many movies have you seen in which a young man has an orgasm before he even enters his awaiting partner?) However, the truth is that most premature ejaculation is due to emotional factors such as guilt or sexual shame. Lack of physical control isn’t necessarily the problem, but rather a symptom of these emotional states. In fact, many men grew up feeling embarrassed about their sexual desires and their sexual activity (such as masturbation).

For example, consider a young boy who is discovering masturbation at the same time he is coming into his sexuality and sexual identity. Not only is he afraid of getting caught by his parents, but he likely feels guilty and embarrassed as he performs the act, so he tries to reach orgasm as quickly as possible. From a physical and emotional standpoint, this could set him up for a future of premature ejaculation issues, because soon he becomes conditioned to reach orgasm quickly each and every time. (Even when years have passed and he is a grown man and enjoying sexual activity with his partner.)

Use the squeeze technique.

Whenever you feel yourself reaching the point of no return, stop yourself and squeeze the base of your penis between your thumb and your forefinger. Some men find that this helps calm them and slow down the release. However, make sure you use this technique before you become too aroused. If you are on orgasm’s doorstep, it will likely be too late to slow down and stop yourself.

Try tantra.

Tantra might cause you to picture complicated and intimidating sexual practices, but the truth is that tantra just encourages the inclusion of the spirit into sexual activity. In other words, instead of just focusing on the spiritual (and ejaculation), you focus on the connection between you and your partner. Try techniques such as soul-gazing, in which you and your partner sit naked together and place a hand on each other’s heart. As you gaze into your partner’s eyes, you take in deep breaths and become present with each other, allowing yourself to take the pressure off sexual performance and rediscover the “love” in lovemaking.

Most importantly, just remember that you are not alone. Millions of men suffer from premature or early ejaculation, and one of the best things you can do is simply let go of that anxiety and shame.